Chaos

I have not written much here since November. 

My attempts to actually write something here since then have gone like this:
1.  I start a post.
2.  I complete a paragraph, after many starts, stops and re-writes.
3.  I declare what I have written to be either too robotic or too emotional, too cryptic or too revealing, too jumbled or too insignificant.  ETC.
4.  I delete the post.

Since then, if you have seen or spoken with Dave or me, likely we say we are fine.  Fine means any one of these things at any given time:
- Really, we are fine.  Things are moving along and manageable.
OR - It doesn't feel like anything in life will ever be fine again, but we say things are fine because we are trying to convince ourselves.
OR - We don't know how we are.  Seriously.  It varies from one second to the next.
OR - We are really, truly not good, but we don't know where to even start talking about it.  So we won't.

There you go.  Now you are up to date.

It is already mid-January.  I barely remember a month ago, let alone November.  I do know that this week it seems life is happening all at once.

Dave started school today.  "HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY, DAVE???!!!  DID YOU MAKE NEW FRIENDS???!!!" asked Aden.  Well, not really.  Dave's first class was supposed to start at 9 a.m.  At 8:30 a.m. school was canceled because a water main broke.  He sure was ready for his big day, though!

Last week I had worked over forty hours well before Friday.  Since August I have been working into my position as graphic designer at the newspaper where I've been doing some stories, and last week was our first digital edition.  It was a week of long hours and late nights, but in addition to that Dave hurt himself on Thursday and we had him at doctor on Friday.  He had a small tear in one of his leg muscles but it requires no further treatment.  That same day our heat quit but luckily Dave had an extra part and fixed it the next day. 

These are just a few of the more tangible ways in which life has been crazy and full of ups and downs. 
 
Right now I'm sitting here thinking that there's more to say.  Aden is doing well and I haven't said anything about him yet, but already I'm thinking none of this seems very interesting, and I've lost the energy to keep going or to start over. 

So there it is.  Good night.