A Moment

Um. I wish someone could have given me a head's up about this night.

I made baked salmon, grilled asparagus and sliced fresh tomatoes for dinner... I envisioned a lovely mother-son meal and an evening of quality time. I was feeling content and things seemed just right in the world.

Aden and I sat down to eat and mid-way through the meal Aden began to tell me about his day at school.

SC-R-EEEEE-CH. Deep breath.

A boy in Aden's class bullies children. It has been addressed before. He doesn't target Aden specifically; rather, he spreads his meanness around liberally. Usually Aden is more troubled by the way this boy treats everyone than the way he treats Aden individually. Aden can handle him. But today, this boy told Aden that he wishes Aden would have died when he was sick in the hospital.

REALLY, Ted Bundy Junior, ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

I didn't want to minimize the situation... Nor did I want to make too big a deal of it... Honestly I found myself completely shocked that an eight year old could come up with something so thoroughly horrible to say to another human being. Was this kid raised in the forest by wolves?

Uh - where's the parent instruction manual for these things? Seriously, I'd like to have studied up for this one.

Despite my stupor, I calmly, quietly said... I am very sorry someone would say that to you. I am quite happy that you are healthy and home again. I know many people feel the same way. Furthermore I feel so great to know that you would NEVER say something as mean as that to another person.

He looked at me. He was quiet. I said... How did you feel when he said that? Was it not a big deal because you know he is just a mean person to everybody and he is not your friend...? Or did you feel bad? Or...? He got tearful and said that he felt both ways, but that it made him think about all the bad things that happened when he was sick and it made him sad.

In all reality, Aden heard doctors say that he could have died. He heard it more than once. He is well aware of the fact. To realize one's mortality so thoroughly, so freshly, at such a young age and then to have death wished upon him by some little sociopath just seems like a level of cruelty a child should not have to endure.

I'm struggling to remember that children are resilient... As humans we learn from these situations... Cruelty and hurt knock upon all of our doors from time to time, unavoidably. Perhaps this was yet another opportunity to talk about this illness and its aftereffects. This is the place I need to be - the place of trusting that life truly is unfolding as it is meant to, and we all are right where we are supposed to be, learning the lessons we are supposed to be learning.